Army Wives

This is painful to admit. Mournfully so. Dare I even say it? I'm addicted to Army Wives. How could this have happened?

Well, my mother practically forced me to order the first season on Netflix. Just try it once, you'll like it, you only have to take 3 bites ... sounds like kind of like her pushing broccoli on an unsuspecting six year old.

So the DVDs came in, and I grudgingly placed the first disc in the player around 8pm. I watched the first episode, then the second, then the third, then the fourth, well you know where this is going. At 4am, I forced myself to turn off the television and go to bed. The next evening after work, I rushed home, (without even stopping to pick up dinner) and proceeded to watch the rest of the season.

Y'all, this show is funny, heart-warming, and full of soap opera drama. You get hooked into these characters' lives like you're one of them - you know who's sleeping with whom, who's thinking about sleeping with whom, and just waiting your turn to share your gossip. It's pure Lifetime, girly mush. And I love it.

So, yes. I'm addicted to Army Wives. But please don't tell my mother. I hate to admit when she's right.

Counting From 1 to 8 for a Living

When anyone asks my occupation, I always say "I count from 1 to 8 for a living." The person will then pause, look at me quizzically for a moment or two, and then, of course, want to know more. This is the perfect moment to share my love of teaching dance. This opportunity arises in some of the most bizarre places - in the grocery store, the beauty salon, the gas station, and most recently, in the bathroom at a restaurant. I've learned to embrace each of these moments, because I never know the impact that will be made on the person that I am speaking with. And what kind of impact that person can have on my business.

What we do is not brain surgery. We're not cutting open someone's head, and digging around in there with a screwdriver. I know of no one who has ever died from doing a pivot turn incorrectly (please email me if you have documented evidence of this happening). Now, don't get me wrong. What we do has definite purpose. As dance teachers, we have the opportunity to truly change a person's life. If I really believed that all I did as a dance teacher was to count from 1 to 8 and teach a person to point their toes, then this would not have been my calling from age 2.

Now, we've all seen those dancers that we just have to watch. The dancers that can draw your attention doing basic steps, the ones that can enrapture a crowd effortlessly. They're not usually the best dancers on the floor, nor are they doing the most complicated patterns. But they are the dancers who truly believe in themselves. This is the part of dancing that is imperative to teach, and it's also the part that most people forget about.

As my students of every age will attest to, I believe in teaching good technique, flawless technique, along with the how's and why's. However, from the very first lesson, I also begin teaching that little something special. Most of my students dance socially, and have no desire to be "world champions" or "professional dancers." However, all of my students are "professional human beings." They have jobs, or go to school, or raise families. My goal as a dance teacher is to inspire self-confidence, poise, and complete assurance, both on the dance floor and off. It's amazing the difference that encouragement and accomplishment can make in someone's life. It's pointing out the little positives, setting attainable goals with students and achieving them, and just reminding them of the tremendous gift their time is to us as teachers.

I am grateful everyday for the incredible privilege of sharing my love of dance. Nothing else gives me pure joy and gratification. And the reason for this? Making sure every student that leaves my class has achieved much more than the ability to count from 1 to 8.

- written for an upcoming NTA Newsletter

Horoscope Suggestions

My horoscope for this week offered the following suggestions. Thought I'd share them with you...

Don't make nasty comments about yourself behind your own back. (Uh, my ego would not allow this.)

Do eat ripe organic strawberries that have been genetically modified and irradiated, and do chain-smoke Marlboros as you peddle your exercise bicycle, and do wander through a garbage dump while listening to Mozart on your iPod.

Don't decorate your thigh with a sloppy tattoo of the devil pushing a lawn mower. (Uh, it wouldn't cross my mind)

Do wear a t-shirt that says, "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." (Can I just use my keychain?)

Don't glide into a bar, scout around for the person whose face has the most pain etched in it, and ask that person to come home with you. (What should I do instead of glide? Gallop? I've worked really hard on gliding!)

Do play soccer in bunny slippers at dawn in a supermarket parking lot with a gang of sadomasochistic stockbrokers who've promised to teach you the Balinese monkey chant. (Can you imagine me playing soccer?)

Don't get hooked on the fantasy that there are only two kinds of people, those who align themselves with the forces of light and those who align themselves with the forces of darkness. (A nice reminder ... wonder which one I am?)

Do start an organization called POMP (Proud Owners of Multiple Personalities), dedicated to erasing negative stereotypes about healthy non-schizophrenics who enjoy being a community of many different selves. (Sounds like the perfect name for my new cult ... anyone want to be a charter member?)

Don't lie on a floor surrounded by wine-stained poetry books, crumpled Matisse prints, abandoned underwear, and half-eaten bowls of corn flakes as you stare up at the ceiling with a mad gaze, muttering gibberish and waving your hands as if swatting away demons. (Okay, who was spying on me last Wednesday?)

Do run along the tops of cars during a traffic jam, escaping from bad guys as you make your way to a helicopter that takes you to a spot hovering over an erupting volcano, into which you drop the Buns of Steel video. (Um, yeah ... that'll happen ... Brady, we now have an idea to create your movie plot around)

Don't put your soul up for auction on the eBay website. (No one could afford it)

If you come upon a lamp with a genie in it, don't wish you had a magic wand. (this one is profound ... and a real lesson for me)

Ouch

Well, they say that with age comes wisdom, but I'm getting older, and continue to set new standards in stupidity. My latest record-breaker being my decision to not look up while jogging this evening. One would assume that I would know it is a fairly good idea to look where you are going, whatever the speed. Instead, I was busily perusing the selections available on my iPod and thus did not notice the rapidly narrowing proximity of the back of a stop sign to my skull. This is even more egregious considering that I've jogged this path at least 2 times a week for the last month, which would normally indicate some familiarity with the placement of hazards.

My first reaction upon doing something stupid is, of course, to immediately check to see if someone saw me do it. Satisfied there were no witnesses, I calmly picked up the baseball cap, sunglasses, and headphones that had been dislodged by the impact, dusted myself off, and only then noted a few things:

1. Ow ow ow ow ow

2. A lump similar to the kind administered by Bugs Bunny after he serves you tea and asks if you want one lump or two was rapidly rising on my forehead, although no birds or stars appeared to be circling.

3. Ow ow ow ow ow

4. No blood? Good

5. I am a moron. But at least I can admit it.

As Albert Einstein said, "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the former." Maybe I should try a different exercise option. How about speed polka? The idiocy of that could be even more entertaining.

My Weekend Adventure

I spent 3 days in the woods for Memorial Day weekend. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Tonya spent 3 days in the woods? Did she forget to take her medication?"

Yes, I had the opportunity to go canoeing with a group of friends in Northern Arkansas on the Buffalo River. And I went. And it was incredibly memorable.

These are the Top 20 things that I learned on my trip:

1) The Ozark mountains are incredibly gorgeous this time of year.

2) There is no cell phone signal in the Ozark mountains. None. Not even enough for the phone to know the time.

3) When choosing your canoeing partner, pick the most athletic looking guy in the group. Start fluttering your eyelashes at him immediately. When you get stuck, he'll fix it, and you don't have to get out of the boat in the freezing cold water.

4) It's not a race when the 2 most competitive people in the group end up in the same boat. We were nice. We let everyone pass us in the rapids three different times to make sure they got through okay. And we still won.

5) There are large overhanging limbs on the banks of the Buffalo River. Do not paddle face first into them. Duck under them.

6) When trying to duck under the limbs, it works best to just lean back.

7) When leaning back, don't hit your head on the bottom of the canoe. This hurts.

8) S'mores are the very best food known to humans. Ever.

9) Pack a roll of toilet paper in a ziplock bag during a canoe trips. You will be everyone's hero. Trust me on this one.

10) I am obsessed with time. It drove me nuts not knowing what time it was while canoeing on the river. Since I didn't actually have to be anywhere, and had no pressing deadlines, I'm not sure why this was so important to me. But it was.

11) Do not take a "side trip" to hike up a mountain in your swimsuit and flipflops. I don't care how pretty the view is supposed to be. Some people did not listen to me on this one. Those people ended up with ticks in strange places.

12) There are people in this world that actually go to bed at 8:00pm and wake up at 5:00am. I just spent the weekend with a bunch of them.

13) I love air conditioning. I always have. I admit it. Two nights in an un-airconditioned cabin reinforced this fact.

14) Guys think totally differently then girls. The best place to realize this is playing girls versus guys in "Taboo." And yes, I did fall off my chair laughing once.

15) There is no place to dance in Branson, Missouri on a Saturday night. However, the Outback Pub has really great music if you just want to relax.

16) Sailing is a lot more fun when there's actually wind involved. And it's one of life's most relaxing activities. I already knew this, but had a fabulous reminder during a last minute "side trip" on Monday afternoon at Lake DeGray.

17) A BMW Z3 convertible is the perfect car for a girl to learn to drive a stick shift. And yes, I now understand the concept. Just don't ask for me to actually get into first gear on a hill. I was born to drive a Z3 … just let mine be an automatic.

18) A convertible is the best method of travel in the spring. The panoramic view, day or night, is amazing. Just don't look around too much while driving. The other cars prefer for you to stay in your lane on winding, mountainous roads.

19) Peace and quiet is a wonderful thing. And when there's too much of it, your iPod is your friend.

20) When I am without cell phone service for 3 days, several of my friends worry about me. It's nice to be loved

Thank you to my wonderful friends, old and new, that made this such an incredible weekend. Will I do it again? Absolutely. Now don't worry, I'm not turning into a nature girl ... you know that I'm way to sparkly for that. But I truly enjoyed "getting away." For my next trip, I'll be getting away to New York City ... much closer to my natural habitat.

Things You Comprehend After Midnight

A dear friend of mine wrote a blog yesterday about "Things You Wake Up and Realize." Well, those of you that know me understand the only thing I wake up knowing is that I desperately need a Diet Coke. In fact, I rarely comprehend anything before 10:30am. That being said, I usually have tremendous clarity around midnight. So here are my:

Things You Comprehend After Midnight

Life is really about the ongoing, never-ending refocusing from each new vantage point.

Music can lift me, physically and emotionally, beyond anything else. I can escape out of myself somehow, lost to the sensation, and radiate pure joy within when dancing. When I dance, the music goes right through me, and lifts my heart. It's a physical euphoria that nothing else can touch.

Sometimes what you're chasing obstructs your view of what's right in front of you.

Success is not measured by the physical things we accomplish or the stuff we gather.

Our success is measured by the degree of joy we share during our journey through this life.

Life is too short not to enjoy it.

The smile you give is the smile you get back.

I have met some amazing souls, and their light fills me.

Life is constantly flowing through us, but to be deliberately aware of this Energy, is the ultimate in truly living.

Once you embrace who you are, your life becomes infinitely more satisfying.

When changes come into my life, if I keep an open mind, and not push hard against the change, the outcome is usually tremendous.

Vibrational compatibility is imperative in those you choose to keep closest to your heart (notice I said compatability, not similarity).

What if we become aware of the process of assumption in our daily lives? What if we notice where we make leaps in logic, fill in the unknown, unseen and unheard with our own shades and shapes?

Push yourself to your physical and mental limits, then ask yourself to deliver more than you possibly can. When you come through, that's the greatest rush there is.
Never doubt the magic within.

The power to forgive is the greatest power we have.

I feel security in the fact that we do create our own reality, and feel satisfaction as such.

There's never a truly happy ending for those who lose their integrity.

Contrast and dissimilarity assist you in understanding your purpose. It is through your interaction with variety that your own desires are formulated.

I believe that our lives are a series of concentric circles, growing and growing like ripples across water, connecting us all in the same vast pool.

I have the courage to follow my heart, and the knowledge to follow the right path.

We must cultivate compassion for those who have hurt us. Take back control. You may not be able to change what happened, but you can change your perception of it. All you need is the intention, and you have the power to change. Through understanding, forgive yourself and the person that hurt you. This is truly a path to happiness.

I owe so much of who I am to my dancing. It has given me perseverance, discipline, poise, grace, and love.

Without fear, we cannot evolve. Fear is a natural human emotion that protects us from harm. It is also one of the most destructive emotions we have. It can quickly manifest into anger, which is poisonous. We must approach our fears with as much truth and courage as possible. If not, fear will override our incredible capabilities as humans, to live fully in a state of serenity.

The keys to maintaining healthy relationships: respect, forgiveness, love.

It is not who we meet along life's highway that matters; it's is how we treat them.

Life is a dance with the cosmos.

Maybe not being perfect is what perfect really means.

All my love,
T.

What We Want

So many of us wait for that something to come along that is going to make us happy. For some, it's seems to be money. With more money, one can buy all those things one wants. Most of us see the error in that. We see an appetite that will never be satisfied. We want, instead, that which money will not buy.

We want that special someone. The only problem is that someone seems nearly impossible to find. Is it that our standards are too high? Is it that we were born a century too early or too late? Is it that the World has become such a broken mess that no one could possibly find something whole and unbroken in it anymore?

If we are truthful with ourselves, we know what we want. We want companionship. In a life of smiling faces, you want not to be wearing the same as a mask to keep that miserable feeling of loneliness from public display. We want the PERFECT person. The person that comes with the same dreams and ambitions that match our own. The person who is going to love us in just the way we need to be loved, and is going to say and do all the things we want them to, and be everything we need them to be. We know deep down that such a thing as the perfect person doesn't exist. In moments of self-honesty we see that such a dream is fantasy. Why then do we still want it so bad?

I submit there are two problems that are capital in this dire situation. One is a simple observation that I believe many overlook and herein the other lies a new view of reality that many people do not see; even there are those who think they do, I believe they do not.

We must understand, things change, people change. Mitigating circumstances always dictate realities. Doing this takes self-confidence and faith in relations. Many people uproot their lives to pursue that special relationship with someone they may well have never imagined themselves being with. Love can change people quite profoundly. It can alter their taste in music, movies, social environments, foods, locales, and all sorts of Life's various facets. We must have faith without exception. We must have an ounce of confidence in the Law of Change. Many people lack that and it causes them constant longing. That longing is suffering. Waiting for the perfect someone that's all packaged and ready to go. Just add water. Except they never come.

Granted there are people, that for whatever reason, that do not dance to the same secret music as you. We must see that for what it is quickly, so as to not be pulled in by that darkness and become subject and enslaved by it. We must learn to bid a loving farewell and continue on to seek out one with the proper moves. It is neither our duty nor our right to try and change someone. The one true power of our existence to command with impunity is the power to give and receive love. The most powerful force in the Universe is that of Directed Will and there is no greater power of Directed Will than that of Unconditional Love.

And so it is, we find ourselves back at square one. Alone and searching for one with the proper steps. One that can hear Love's beautiful waltz. One that wants to join in the dance. And of course, we find ourselves longing. Wanting to have somebody, wanting to have love.

Now at this point, consider my second submission. Consider there is a fundamental perspective that most people simply do not realize, but yet remains the simplest realization of all. I cannot have anyone! I cannot have love! People and love are not possessions. One might think that such a statement to be too obvious. Why bother to mention it? But if it's so obvious, then why do people continually take such attitude with relationships? Obviously, there's no big secret to any of this, but yet it remains cryptic to those who have forsaken the intuition to read Reality's hieroglyphics. How many times have we said that we want to have a relationship? How many times do we use the words of demand and possession in such thoughts? It is quite significant. It is not a figure of speech. What we speak is a song and that song sings the fundamental paradigm in which we view the world. If we consider what we've been asking for, we may well discover it is something that we cannot have. Because it does not work like that. Because it does not exist. We need to change our fundamental view of the world from a possession-based viewpoint into a new paradigm that sees things as they really exist. We need to speak words that sing the proper song.

So the question emerges, if we can't have that special someone, how can we have one? Or rather, how can we be in existence with that someone? It's hard to start thinking outside of a possession-based viewpoint and properly word it. That is why in a fundamental change in our view of the world it is required for us to take the time to reflect and contemplate on this new paradigm. It cannot just happen. We must choose the path, and then take up the task of treading upon it.

In this economic and material based world, we are not used to thinking in terms of things we can't HAVE ... a solution to our unhappiness that we cannot run out and purchase. There is no instant gratification. If there is, we will no doubt learn the hard way of the significant warning sign it poses. The deception that lies within.

Just as we have to do the work to earn a paycheck, so must we do the work in Life's trials and tribulations. The answer to Life's problems is not something that is going to pop up for sale on eBay. Therefore, it is to be said, that self-realization will always carry in tow the paramount prerequisite of self-reflection.

Most of the world focuses on having what they want, which is a constant state of acquisition, of needing to augment with more, of rampant consumerism that ultimately ends in devaluation of anything that is not imminently disposable. If we find satisfaction in what we are, where we are, and who we are right now, that is peace of mind that is not illusive, transitory or subject to entropy. Wanting what we have is the ultimate expression of living in the moment. The goal is to be here now, not to dwell on how much better my life could be if only…